China Grove, Texas
"The people of the town are strange and they're proud of where they came. Well, you're talkin' `bout China Grove. Woah, China Grove"
Yes, the song "China Grove" by the Doobie Brothers is about a real place in Texas. However while the song was written in reference to the Bexar County community of just 1,179 residents, basically other than the name and the fact that the town is "down around San Antone," everything in the song is absolutely and entirely false.
I mean for one, basing something off of a Chinese-based premise and then referencing Japanese history. Really? "The sheriff and his buddies with their Samurai swords," smooth.
At least it does turn out that China Grove does have its own police force. As of June 2006, the town hired its first "full time peace officer." He reminds residents to lock their vehicles, otherwise stuff might get taken.
And I suppose I could at least accept the premise if there was a small demographic with Asian heritage. But after consulting City-Data, it turns out the figure for that demographic is nonexistent. Strike two.
How about being exotic? Could the Doobie Brothers at least redeem their premise with the flavor of the town? Well a quick look at Google Earth shows such inviting attractions in town as "China Grove General Store," "Dairy Queen," and "ATM." I am not convinced. Even the thoroughfares leave me unimpressed: "Triple Tree Street" and "Farm-to-Market 1516." Yee-haw.
At this rate I'm sure that the leading attraction in China Grove on any given day is whoever has the newest pickup truck. I even gave the city website a try to see if their are any cool festivals or the like. Turns out the latest news is the upcoming "Free Landfill Disposal Day." Okay, enough of that website...
Strike three, premise out. Do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars...
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