Movie of the Month: "Tulpan" (2008)

I liked “Borat” (there, I said it). Because of that, my expectations were probably tempered in a very strange way. “Tulpan” is decidedly a far-cry from the hirsute TV journalist, as comparatively unoriginal as it may seem.

What makes this Kazakh coming-of-age tale so great is the fact that it is the product of minds that refuse to recognize the pretenses of the romance, nostalgia and fantasy that is so typical of western cultural motifs.

It takes the tired-but-true dilemma of a young man named Asa (yearning for more than this provincial life), returning to the wind-swept plains of his forebears to live with his sister’s family, and invigorates it with a sense of grandeur and gritty nonchalance.

Criticature: "Enter the Void" (2009)

Described by its creator as a “psychedelic melodrama”, the mammoth festival cut of Gaspar Noé's “Enter the Void” is at once a profound meditation on the human perception of death as well as an utterly unwatchable piece of indulgent Eurotrash nonsense. Combined, the two experiences make for a flawed masterpiece.

For anyone who has cared to check out the one or two previous films to the director’s credit you are aware that he does not shy away from the disturbing or the ugly. But if you’re aware of that then you’re probably aware of how memorable his camerawork is too.

‘Dizzying’ would be putting in lightly.

MOTM: "Carlos - The Miniseries" (2010)

There are two versions of Oliver Assayas’s epic, slow-burn, globe-trotting examination of the terrorist Illich Ramirez Sanchez, better known by his nom de guerre, “The Jackal”.

I'm opting for the bigger, badder, meaner cut.

The inspiration for numerous villains in countless spy films and novels, the title character at the center of this 326-minute roadshow version of the French-produced drama (originally aired in 3 parts for the Gallic tube) is at once a producer and product of his times.

Criticature: "Blue Valentine"

Since Ryan Gosling has had such a great year I have no qualms about the mediocrity of this drama. I heard a lot of buzz about this movie and, in honor of Valentine’s Day, it just seemed appropriate that I take it for a spin. I went in knowing that it is “depressing” (according to some friends) but I decided to give it a go, what with my penchant for masochism and all.

As if it wasn’t clear already, I was pretty underwhelmed by the resolution. But that just might be because I’m a sour-puss.

Review: "Uncertainty" (2009)

As irresistible as this film appears to be, don’t be thrown by the pretenses of the “indie virus”. Now, you may be unfamiliar with the aforementioned malady but let me be plain: it is no laughing matter.

Beware. The contaminant is subtle but significant. Its deception, of both the makers and the viewers, is tempting and total. It occurs when a fledgling director has taken the necessary steps to acquire a basic knowledge of films and its techniques. Armed with the insularities standard of higher education these starry-eyed kids brimming with ego try out every tool at their disposal, bombarding their audience in an attempt to prove just about anything.

“Uncertainty” is among the infected.

Criticature: "Starter for 10"

Writing negative criticism is fun. I admit that much. It’s definitely more fun than writing something that is gushy and overflowing with praise. And it is precisely for such reasons that the following review of Tom Vaughn’s charming college-bound coming-of-age tale is only going to be somewhat amusing. Because that is what the movie is.

In step with a wave of nostalgic 80’s-themed retrospectives of the last decade or so, “SFT” follows whiz-kid Brian Jackson (McAvoy) during his freshman year at Bristol as he attempts to prove his worth, both to himself and to his romantic pursuits, on the quiz show University Challenge.

A Review in Tandem: "Elektra Luxx" (and "Women in Trouble")

I’ll admit that I was a bad critic when it came to this movie. I didn’t approach it with a clean slate. I stumbled in actually wanting to like it. Wanting desperately to capture some semblance of quality or cohesion or subversive wit. But before I take this apology any further I must state that I wasn’t the only one who broke the rules. Director Sebastián Gutiérrez also shattered some cardinal precepts when he made “Elektra Luxx”, a tentatively-rendered sequel to his oddball sex comedy “Women in Trouble”.

Part deux of a proposed trilogy (the upcoming installment appropriately or inappropriately titled “Women in Ecstasy”), “Luxx” has all the same parts that made “Women in Trouble” great (at least in my mind).

Review: "Kapò" (1961)

I was researching the background on this film and found surprisingly little details. What I did find hardly does “Kapò” justice. Verbatim, the plot summary reads thus on IMDb Pro : “A young Jewish girl leads an escape attempt from a concentration camp.”

This almost makes me want to vomit with rage.

Movie of the Month: "Hachi: A Dog's Tale"

 In spite of we Yankees’ proclivity to remake everything for practically no reason, I’ll make an exception for this month’s movie just because it’s so damn cute.

Essentially a white-washed version of the 1987 film “Hachiko Monogatari” (The Tale of Hachiko), it’s no wonder that the self-proclaimed dog lover and director Lasse Hallström chose to retell (yet again) the true life story of the Akita dog known only as Hachiko.

Criticature: "Graveyard of Honor" ("Shin ingi no hakaba")

Peek-a-boo.

In honor (heh) of the stateside release of Takashi Miike’s newest film, I felt compelled to immerse myself in his canon beforehand. For those of you unfamiliar with said auteur’s body of work, just know that it is often disturbing, visceral and—more often than not—masterful, surprising and perversely fun.

The character study: after casually foiling an attempted hit on a crime boss, Rikuo—a dead-eyed dishwasher—is inducted into the gang as an honorary strong man. Yet the mobsters get more than they bargained for when they come to learn just how crazy he really is. Whether he’s raping hostesses at karaoke bars or shooting it out with the police in his underwear, there seems to be nothing the man can’t or won't do. And as Rikuo’s penchant for slow-burn sociopathic mayhem spills back onto his masters, it becomes quite clear that Rikuo has no room for friends in his life. Only the bodies of his enemies—real or perceived—which he leaves stacked at his knees.

Guest Review: "Hereafter"

Clint Eastwood's latest film, "Hereafter", isn't a film about special effects, its about the story. Eastwood is a master storyteller and gets better with each film. "Hereafter" considers the idea of an afterlife, a plausible afterlife. This film is for intelligent people who are curious to find out what happens after one dies. Eastwood depicts three different stories and how they all come together in the end.

Soundtrack of a Script: "The Social Network"

You’d think a movie about something as commonplace as Facebook would be pretty milquetoast, right? What would it be about, anyway? The innovation of the status update? The intricacies of app requests? The art of the Facebook stalk? As uninteresting as all that sounds the movie is actually nothing like what you’d expect. Therefore I can only come to the logical conclusion that screenwriter Aaron Sorkin chose the title “The Social Network” (from his adaptation of the book “The Accidental Billionaires”) to deliberately avoid any affiliation between our everyday familiarities with Farmville and the “true story” of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg.

And the score. Don't forget that wonderful score.

Criticature: "Big Fan" -- 8/11/10

Wait a minute...this isn't Jersey Shore!?

I’m going to be upfront with you, dear reader. I am not “a sports guy”. Though I’d like to be, I’ve found I have neither the knack for or the kind of passion needed to sustain such a love. But that’s not to say it’s somehow invalid of my respect and admiration; this idea of competition. The clash of titans. Autumn thunder and such. But the debut film “Big Fan” by Robert Siegel (who penned a similarly gritty drama, “The Wrestler”, back in 2008) is not about any heavyweight athlete. Ironically it’s about one of the ‘little people’ that follows the titans. A fan.

Review: "Revanche" - 5/1/10

Revanchism: n. 1. (a literal translation would read like “revenge-ism”)

For those of you whose thoughts don’t spin au français, it’s time for a little vocab lesson, oui? According to my sources through good ol' Wikipedia, the concept of “revanchism” is a 19th Century term referencing something similar to irredentism. No? Umm…..okay, let’s put it this way: territorial reparations sustained and paid by countries following a war. Often used as an excuse to start other wars as a point of honor. Simply put: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Comprende? Armed with such knowledge (and all metaphorical BS aside), it probably can’t be too hard to guess what the Austrian-born filmmaker Götz Spielmann’s symmetric thought-piece of a tragedy is all about.

Criticature: "Un Prophete" - 4/25/10

I KEEL YOU!

What makes a good prison movie? The sheer volume of convict chronicles might suggest that the devil is in the details. But then what details make or break a mold we’ve seen and joked about so many times? Machine shops? Time spent in ‘the yard’? Solitary confinement? Protection dues? Conjugal visits? Shivs? Corrupt guards? No, wait. I got it…shower scenes, right?