"Choose Your Own Adventure"

For the past thirty years movie critic Roger Ebert has been the last word in box quotes. He can literally bite his thumb at you and make-or-break your film. So in 2010, when he came out on the Chicago Sun-Times blog and declared that video games could never be art, you can imagine the schism that followed within the nerd community.

Now, I realize that geeks and games have always been synonymous. The two share an almost symbiotic relationship in the cultural development of untold millions of adolescent young boys and girls the world over, myself included.

Film buffs are a different story.

Movie of the Month: "Tulpan" (2008)

I liked “Borat” (there, I said it). Because of that, my expectations were probably tempered in a very strange way. “Tulpan” is decidedly a far-cry from the hirsute TV journalist, as comparatively unoriginal as it may seem.

What makes this Kazakh coming-of-age tale so great is the fact that it is the product of minds that refuse to recognize the pretenses of the romance, nostalgia and fantasy that is so typical of western cultural motifs.

It takes the tired-but-true dilemma of a young man named Asa (yearning for more than this provincial life), returning to the wind-swept plains of his forebears to live with his sister’s family, and invigorates it with a sense of grandeur and gritty nonchalance.

The Rightful Heir: Part II

So here it is, the intermission is over! The anticipation recedes! The truth is revealed! But before you see exactly who I think is the next likely inheritor of John Williams’ deservedly unique position in the art of film scoring, I’d like to say that if you haven’t read Part I of this series, then I suggest you do so now so you can get up to speed with the rest of us.

I’d also like to take this time to explain what I am and am not doing.

Taste in music, much like a sense of humor, is often akin to one’s sexual preferences. It’s not something you really choose. It just kind of happens. That said, don’t complain about what I’m NOT doing here.

I’m not talking about who is necessarily better in terms of scoring nor am I talking about who is more prolific or more of a house-hold name. I’m talking about who is most like our dear old pal John. So let’s take a look at the winners, shall we? 

MOTM: "Solo Con Tu Pareja" or 'Only with your Partner' (1991)

While the feature-length debut of director Alfonso Cuaron could be seen merely as a showcase for the tenderly sultry Claudia Ramirez—known in Mexico largely for her early telenovela roles—“Love in the Time of Hysteria” (the English release title) revives the romantic melodrama in ways that haven’t been seen north of the Rio Grande for some time. 

Because at its heart, this movie is a dark comedy. More a spoof of love sickness than a glorification of it.

The Rightful Heir: Part I

 

Okay, so this kind of music doesn't work ALL the time, but like one of those obnoxious yellow rental jeeps you see everywhere in Hawaii, John (Towner) Williams (Junior) has been one of the most prolific, successful and accomplished film composers in the world since…well…ever.

Who hasn’t heard a university pep band bellow the Imperial March when things aren’t looking too good for the home team? When has the devastatingly simple two-note motif from Jaws not been a portent of doom? Come on. Just admit it. Any time you heard the Raider’s March you wished you owned a bullwhip and knew some Nazis who needed a what-fer. And when you heard the Superman theme you’d run down the street, ripping off your clothes in slow motion, only to realize moments after leaping off of a building that you actually couldn’t fly.

Criticature: "Scream 4" (2011)

With the exception of a couple admittedly well-thought-out little twinkles, this self-aware reboot of a decade-old franchise is like that guy you'll sometimes see in a bar or a nightclub. The one wearing the gold chain necklace and has just a tuft of chest hair strategically exposed. The one leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette or playing with a poker chip...

MOTM: "The American Astronaut" (2001)

Try to dissect the following phrase:

“He's a birthday boy. He kills without reason. If he has no reason to kill you, then he can kill you. But if he has a reason to kill you, then he's got a problem. Because if he kills you without resolving that problem, then you'd be dead, and the problem would live on forever, unresolved.”

It sounds odd but that’s the kind of person who is hunting Samuel Curtis, the so-called “American Astronaut”. And that is the world in which he lives. He’s an interplanetary trader carousing the dives and blue-collar corrals of deep space. And his most recent job? Deliver the “Boy Who Saw a Woman’s Breast” at the behest of his smuggler buddy, the Blueberry Pirate, to a planet of women in exchange for the body of the former monarch of Venus.

Thus is a descriptor of the only science-fiction western musical you will probably ever see. Sounds kind of like a deadpan version of “Spaceballs”, right?

Criticature: "Enter the Void" (2009)

Described by its creator as a “psychedelic melodrama”, the mammoth festival cut of Gaspar Noé's “Enter the Void” is at once a profound meditation on the human perception of death as well as an utterly unwatchable piece of indulgent Eurotrash nonsense. Combined, the two experiences make for a flawed masterpiece.

For anyone who has cared to check out the one or two previous films to the director’s credit you are aware that he does not shy away from the disturbing or the ugly. But if you’re aware of that then you’re probably aware of how memorable his camerawork is too.

‘Dizzying’ would be putting in lightly.