A Note on Ratings

How the system works----Do you remember when you were in high school? Young. Hormonal. Cliquish. Zealous. And you remember when you had to go to class everyday to toil under a grading schema about as objective as we were. It was a time of scrutiny. A time to judge and be judged, by our peers and by our supposed societal betters. Do you remember test days? Of course you do. And of course you remember those times when you tried explain to your PO’d parents on report card day why on earth you got a ‘D’ when you thought you put in an ‘A’. But then again, I was an English/History guy myself so maybe the subjectivity of the faculty lounge only goes as far as you chose to academically pursue it (this goes to all you math, business and science peeps sitting out there going “what the hell is he talking about?”) My point is that, like the SAT and all other things equally tantamount to a bureaucratic heap of a steaming four-letter word, movies shouldn’t be graded on some sliding scale which means something different to everyone. Different kinds of movies warrant different kinds of criteria. You don’t judge a good dish of pasta primavera by the same measure as you might a good platter of maki-sushi, right? You don’t compare Brahms to Beck. You don’t put Goya and Warhol head-to-head. So why do it for movies? The beauty of judgment is its fluidity. If you start critiquing everything the same, negating difference just so we can be juvenile again and put a label on everything, then we cut the picture in half the same as if we just pooh-poohed letterbox. If you start judging everything the same, negating difference just so we can be juvenile again and put a label on everything, then we cut the picture in half the same as if we just pooh-poohed letterbox. I don’t want to get Montessori on you guys n’ gals but let’s just say the traditional grading format tends to leave more questions than answers for people whose opinions run contrary to that of this here reviewer. That said, I think we should take our critiques in a more productive direction, yes? But the question remains: what makes a good movie? Well, as we go along, hopefully I can tell you. Without getting “high school” about it of course.
—A.H.