"Planet Texas" by Kenny Rogers from the album Something Inside So Strong. 1989.
Speaking of corny country music... Who hasn't made fun of "The Gambler"? The Mr. Rogers of Country has a Wisconsin-sized slough of cheese-laced hits though, and I'd sooner pick something like "Lucille" or "Coward of the County" to knock on. Heck, even the Dolly Parton duet "Islands in the Stream" floats atop the fondue flood, and only the semi-tribute "Ghetto Supatar" could hope to match Witz crackers and cheese with it. ...That is, until you hear "Planet Texas", which takes the cheesecake. I don't think you can even technically call this a country song! Ignore the creepy headshot album cover, and imagine all the maize produced in the U.S. Midwest. Now squish it all into the world's largest cornball. If you've never traversed the corn-producing states, I can assure you: that would be one massive ball of corn. It's only fitting, though, for if the Moon is made of cheese, Planet Texas must be made of corn.
