"Pineapple Princess" by Annette Funicello from the album Hawaiianette. 1960.
Anybody who knows my personal whatsits will likely see this as a fresh loaf of cornbread. Or maybe a bigger cop-out than the jailbreak at Comatose County Sheriff's Department prison. I'm sure you modern listeners don't have your head stuck in the 60s like me, and can thus-ly shake your head at this selection like a vertical horizon bobble-head. But level with me- I'll be your Pokemon trainer. That over-the-top old-school pop fully intends to capture your corny side. Through the almost-kiddie lyrics, the era-defining kitsch soars high and morphs a guilty embarrassment of, say, "Short Shorts" into a sing-along pleasure. Though Funicello's nearly-strained vocals may deflate the effect a notch, her status as a "Beach Icon" (quoted straight from das wiki) sponges the culture and humor effectively to music. Who knew cheese and pineapple went together so well?
So iduno if you beach bums know, but the hip hangout spot back in those days was Surf City, Surfin' USA. At least, the West Coast stereotype would have us believe it. A whole culture around ridin' the waves sprung outta that California sun. But the sun shines on all Poseidon's beaches, and so we find the vacation capital of the United States somewhat lacking in mention when compared to California Girls, or even the Little Old Lady from Pasadena. Sure, the Ventures namedrop the islands in Hawaii Five-O, but its instrumental nature leaves out, well... every reference to the aloha environs. Essentially, tunes like "Wipe Out" or "Misirlou" may be generic enough to occur in ANY surfing locale, but bands spring-boarding off the likes of the Beach Boys just claim too much anchorage in Katy Perry's nightmare land Candyfornia. Good thing, then, for Ms. Funicello, who takes all the cliches we love about Hawai'i and puts them right into all the cliches we love about surf rock.
Her first appearance in my musical factbook fittingly appeared as a team-up with the Beach Boys themselves. For the Disney offshoot called "The Monkey's Uncle" she joined them in creating the uh... comedic "gem" named right after the film title. With such ... inspirational lines as "I love the monkey's uncle and the monkey's uncle's ape for me!" who wouldn't rank the song among their favorites? Nah, really, there's some humorous lines in there. Combined with the albums "Hawaiianette" (featuring the weekly song) and "Italianette", I'm compelled to say Annette Funicello prefers the oddball and fun-inspired numbers when it comes to her discography. Of course, I don't know her library very well, so maybe I just keep stumbling across her outliers. Nonetheless, "Pineapple Princess" has everything. Pineapples (obviously), ukuleles, banana trees, water skiing, bamboo huts, coconuts, beach-combing, wiki-wiki-wacky-Waikiki, crocodiles (...are they even on tropical islands?), that island guitar slide, and a charming love story to tie everything together. It's a sweet, chuckle-filled, little ditty that any of my friends can attest has absolutely no other significance to me. Yup.
Couple quick notes. When that second chorus kicks in with the backup singers, it really starts sounding like the end of some 60s beach party film. In fact, based on Funicello's prominence in the genre, I'll be shocked if it wasn't! Finally, two covers I'd like to point out arrrre: a Japanese version from the same swingin' era annd a contemporary version by Hawaiian group Nā Leo.
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